My mom and I left on Sunday to get to Atlanta for my appointments on Monday, Aug 2. My cousin, Janet Pope that I am sure you have seen on my Face Book page, that has cancer, was at The Emory hospital for complications from the cancer. We stopped by to see her, her new baby Gage and her wonderful boyfriend, Mark, that has been a God send to her. It was so good seeing my little Janipoo and seeing that beautiful baby boy that was really a miracle, considering she found out about her cancer while she was pregnant with him. She is a fighter! I know that is what will get her through this dark and trying time. " I love you Jan!"
So, mom and I arrived at the Emory Clinic at 8 am for the first tests, a Urodynamics with EMG, to show the nerve function of my bladder. The nurse that did the tests was so nice and made me feel really comfortable, considering I was crying all the way through because I could not urinate on my own and it made me feel so old.
After that test I asked her if she found out anything and she said, " lets wait for the second test this afternoon, so we can have the big picture," I said ok. So, mom and I went back to the hotel room to rest. The time came for the dreaded Cystoscopy. The other Cystoscopy I had before, I was put to sleep for that one so I was very scared about this one. Also, this is the test he would do biopsies on me, if needed.
He came in and started the test, I laid there on the table and watched on the little television screen as the scope went into my bladder. He looked all around my bladder, which I have to say is quite something to see. On the inside of my bladder, on both sides, what looked like a little fishes gill, opened up every few seconds, he said those were my ureters and they were attached to my kidneys and allowed the urine to be put into my bladder.
I do have to say that God is amazing, just to see my bladder and the way it, the ureters and kidneys work together, was really awesome. It makes me realize how our bodies were created, so infinitely, by God. Just think about our heart, how it beats and keeps us alive, with out us even thinking about it and how we breath with out a thought. That is so awesome.
So, to get back to my story, after looking at my bladder, my urethra, and inside my vagina to see if he needed to do biopsies, which he didn't and thank God for that, he told me to get dressed and he would come and talk to mom and I.
We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity, then he finally came and I could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't good news. He said that based on all of the tests, I had ZERO nerve function in my bladder, the nerves that usually contract to tell you it is time to empty the bladder, they were damaged from all of the surgeries, the mesh erosion and the prolonged urinary retention, that I would have to self cath myself four times a day, for the rest of my life.
I was devastated, a surgery that should have been routine and that doctors do every day with no problems, had left me ruined for life, because of the negligence of doctors that just DO NOT CARE!
So, I still have no answers for this severe left flank pain that is debilitating, yet I am finding out about all the damage this surgery, the bladder tack, that in reality, I NEVER needed according to the first doctor I saw at Emory. She said I could of had the Hysterectomy to correct the level 4 uterine prolapse and had physical therapy to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles and totally avoided the bladder tack and the polypropylene mesh and all the problems it and the doctor has caused.
This story gets more bizarre by the second, the Urologist at Emory also told me that based on my latest MRI I had back in April of 2010 at Emory, it showed that I had a left ovary. I questioned that because on October 12, 2009, I had surgery to remove that ovary because it had been sewn to the inside of my vaginal cuff. So, to make everything seem even more like The Twilight Zone, he told me if the doctor left even the smallest remnant of an ovary, that it can grow back. At this point I was looking at him as if he had 2 heads, crying and almost hysterical. He told me to continue doing what I had been doing, patted me on my back and walked out of the room with us sitting there in shock from, not only the news about my bladder, but also, could I have a ovary that has grown back or is something else there like scar tissue or adhesions and actually I was leaving one of the best hospitals in the world with more questions than when I came in.
My mom and I got up and started walking out. We were both in shock, several nurses stopped and asked if I was ok, my reply was"NO".Then they asked if they could help and I just said "no, apparently no one can help me, but God". I knew I could not ride in the car all the way back to Columbus in this severe pain, so I went over to the ER and asked some one to please help me. They took me back to a room, did lab tests and calmed me down and did give me some medicine for the severe pain and said the blood test would be back soon.
All of a sudden a nurse came into the room, gave me two pills to take and said the were potassium pills and frantically started an IV of potassium on me. She said my potassium was dangerously low and they had to get it back to normal because it affects your heart. She said if it goes inn to fast it can cause a heart attack, so at this time, I was past the Twilight Zone. I was so afraid at this point, I had no idea what to think. The ER doctor suggested I go to see my primary care doctor, mid week and have my potassium rechecked and also be referred to a surgeonn because the numerous MRI's and CT's have not showed anything except I possibly have had an ovary to grow back.
I Went Thursday to see my Primary care doctor and I was made to feel even more emotionally unstable by him, if that is possible. He told me to let him know the name of a surgeon I wanted to see and let him know. One of the reasons I went to my doctor was to have him help me with the decision of which surgeon to see. My dad and I were both shocked at how he acted. I mean, you go to doctors for help and you put your life in their hands. When they give it back to you, you hardly recognize the person you were you before they started, what they call, TAKING CARE OF YOU!
So, I am sitting here today, in extreme pain, not knowing what to do next. PLEASE pray that God will lead me to the right doctor that will be actually concerned and help me figure out what is going on....... I know better than to take my own life, thank God I was raised by a God fearing mom that has put this strength in me and realizing that HE will help me. I am only saying that,if this is going to be my life, constant pain and struggles, doctors making mistakes and then making you feel as if you are off in the head, I do not want to live if this is going to be my life.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I know is long, September 1, 2010 will be a full year of dealing with this craziness...........
Please pray for me and my family, please pray I can be like the woman in the bible with the Issue of blood, that knew, " If I could only touch the hem of His garment, I WILL be made WHOLE." I know through God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment